


old soul

by sunflowergolden



Series: to let a good thing die [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Getting Back Together, Go listen to the album, M/M, Post-Break Up, Songfic, its the first one so i’m hoping to write more, kind of it’s just something v short, old soul by bruno major, so it’s based off a song from bruno major’s album
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowergolden/pseuds/sunflowergolden
Summary: Louis couldn’t believe he actually did that. He and Harry hadn’t talked for months, and here he was. This was the first time he got drunk since their break-up, and the first thing he did was call Harry. Typical.or, the one after louis and harry have broken up and louis writes him a letter
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: to let a good thing die [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925125
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	old soul

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!  
> this is hopefully the first of ten songs inspired by [bruno major’s album to let a good thing die](https://open.spotify.com/album/5ON0EY1YuVEJPwj17yYtwO?si=xjXLIpstTaCPqZkvFx_qZA)  
> this is a very short fic loosely inspired by [old soul](https://open.spotify.com/track/5PclVjs7jkiMV2oedFYmuO?si=KqZm9Y1bRsOTIO-7cW5Z1A!!)  
> if you listen to it you might recognise some lyrics (also go listen to the whole album bc it’s amazing)

“I just… I don't know, I'm in a mood.” Louis sighed. “And I just wanna talk to you.” He took a deep breath. “I wanna talk to you.” When Louis actually realised what he was doing, he quickly hung up the phone.

Louis couldn’t believe he actually did that. He and Harry hadn’t talked for months, and here he was. This was the first time he got drunk since their break-up, and the first thing he did was call Harry. Typical. It didn’t surprise him though. It had been a few hard months. So, trying not to dwell on the possible mistake he’d just made, he quickly got ready for bed and fell asleep within minutes.

-

Louis could see himself growing more coldly towards Harry since February. He didn’t really know why, but he was questioning Harry’s every move. If he even looked at another guy, Louis felt like Harry would leave him for that random person. If someone hit on him, even if Harry didn’t reciprocate, he couldn’t help but be jealous. So, to protect himself, he started to take a few steps back. Harry noticed, of course he did, and he tried to talk to Louis, but it didn’t work. Louis would never admit it, but he was unknowingly sabotaging their relationship. He would stop wanting to go out on dates with Harry, because he didn’t want to get jealous because of everyone ogling Harry. He couldn’t blame them of course, Harry was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. That’s why he couldn’t understand why they were together. Sure, he wasn’t the worst looking guy, Louis’d say he was about a six, but Harry, Harry was for sure a ten. He could have anyone he wanted, but he was with Louis. Something just didn’t add up. 

So, when Louis couldn’t take it anymore, he’d broken it off with Harry. Harry seemed shocked, but he didn’t look devastated. He just packed his bags, asked Louis to please think about it, and left. They haven’t spoken since. Harry did try to call Louis once, but he didn’t pick up, so Harry left a voicemail. That’s saved on Louis’ phone and he will never delete it. It may be a little sad, but Louis cherishes that message. He may also not admit it, but he listens to that at least once a week. 

So, these last few months have been hard. Louis didn’t go out at all in the beginning. He’d lounge on the sofa, pretended he was sick so he didn’t have to go into work, and just watched tv the whole time. After two weeks, his friends thought it was enough. Liam and Niall had burst into his apartment without any announcement, made him shower and get dressed, and took him out, just to get out of the house. Louis would never admit it, but he wouldn’t know where he’d be right now without those boys. 

So, things were going a lot better for Louis compared to a few months ago. Apart from the voicemail, he had nothing left that reminded him of Harry. Well, that wasn’t the total truth. He had some of Harry’s vinyls stored away, because they reminded Louis too much of him. They reminded him of all the times they would listen to Harry’s records together. Louis did have a record player, but he only had three vinyls, which he hardly ever played. But Harry, Harry had a collection. A big one at that. And since they almost always spent their time at Louis’ apartment, Harry had slowly moved most of his collection over to Louis’. If he had to admit it, a lot of them weren’t even really Louis’ taste. Harry liked a lot of old music, soul, mostly. Louis was more a fan of indie music, but he listened to them, because it made Harry happy. And that made him happy. He did grow attached to the music though, and to their ritual of listening to them at night before going to bed. So, Louis had a lot of memories attached to those records. 

-

It was Friday night, and Louis was not doing well. He was fine, but, he was doing something stupid, and that said a lot, coming from Louis himself. He was currently digging through Harry’s collection of vinyls, looking for a specific one. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out who the artist was, but he knew what the vinyl looked like. It was some red and black vinyl, with the words *volt* on it. 

“Aha!” Louis exclaimed, a little too loudly. He looked at the vinyl, and …. his eyebrows shot up. “Hm, Otis Redding. Never knew.” Well, guess he learned something new today.

He took the album into the living room and started playing it. When he heard the opening chords of These Arms Of Mine, he was immediately taken back to a year ago, when Harry first showed him this song. He was so excited, and he had such a sparkle in his eye. He looked nothing like he did when Louis was an idiot and broke up with him. Dumbass. 

Louis went back to his kitchen table, and looked at the letter in front of him. “Am I doing something really stupid?” Louis asked himself out loud. Sadly, no one answered. To be fair, it would have been a little creepy if someone answered him, seeing as he was alone and had been for the last few days. “Well, I have to finish what I started now.”

_Harry, Hazza, H,_

_Hi, it’s Louis. Tomlinson. I don’t really know why I’m writing you, but I figured you deserve an explanation. About why I was such a dick to you._

_So, if you want, read this through, I’ve written it down for you. Talks about everything I’ve been going through._

_I'll cut straight to what I wanna say to you, I've got so much time and not a lot to do. It won't be news 'cause we're the same person basically_

_First off, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away, and I’m sorry for not talking to you. You deserve(d) so much better than me. Truth is, I’ve got a lot of problems. Huh, don’t think this comes as a surprise to you. I won’t bore you with everything, but turns out I have a great fear of abandonment and some self-confidence issues. I’m working on that though, but I think that’s the main reason for why I ended it.  
You turn heads everywhere you go, and I was scared you were going to leave me to be with one of the other boys. The only thing I thought at the moment was, “They're lining up for you, so what you need me for? Really though, I'll be fine.” So, I decided to save myself that heartbreak and be the one to end it. _

_I’m trying to write again, but it’s hard. I haven’t written a full song since we broke up. Hope you're not offended, but you are my melody. The world to me seems empty, and you're the first reason why._

_I’ve just dug one of your old records out of the basement. Don’t know why. Guess I wanted to reminisce? You have great taste, but I bet you already knew that and don’t need me to remind you._

_Although, now I’m wondering, if you treasure those vinyls so much, why didn’t you take them with you? Just curious, I guess. But anyway, I’m listening to old soul right now. Never thought I’d say that, but guess that’s what you do to me, still._

_I listen to your voicemail a lot. When you called, you almost gave me a heart attack. It’s the reason why I never called you back._

_I’ve since learned that my fears aren’t justified and I should’ve taken your word for it when you said I was the one for you. But, you know I’ve been cheated on before in the past, and I just didn’t want that to happen again. I knew you were different, of course I did, but the fears were still there. I also know you aren’t the same as my ex, but that took me a while to realise._

_So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ending things with you, without talking to you about it. I’m sorry for hurting you._

_I just want you to know that there’ll always be a part of me that loves you, and if there’s any part of you that still loves me, maybe we could try again? Small steps of course. If you even want me. If you don’t, that’s also completely fine, and I’m sorry for bothering you with this. Let me know if you ever feel ready._

_Louis Tomlinson_

Louis exhaled a deep breath. He didn’t realise he had so much emotion pent up, until he wrote that whole letter in one sitting. Everything around him was silent. The record had stopped playing, and there was no one around. The only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat. Which was beating extremely loudly. He knew he had to post the letter quickly, before he’d lose his bout of confidence. So, he quickly wrote Harry’s address on the envelope and put a stamp on it. He’d gotten Harry’s new address from Zayn’s phone, without him noticing of course. Because Zayn was originally Harry’s friend, Louis didn’t see him as much after the break-up. But, having the same group of friends meant their paths crossed once in a while. So, last week when they were at a bar, and Zayn went to the toilets, Louis saw his chance and took it. He now had Harry’s new address, and a letter that needed sending. 

Louis walked into the hallway of his apartment building, dressed in his pyjamas, and walked to the mailbox down the street. Only when he looked around did he realise the streets were deserted. He looked at his watch and winced when he saw the time. 3 am. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this at night, but it was too late now. He quickly pushed the envelope into the mailbox, and then it was out of his hands.

Only then did he realise how cold it was. He darted back to his apartment, got into bed, and went to sleep. Or at least, he tried to go back to sleep. He saw it getting light outside, but fell asleep some time after that anyway.

-

The following week Louis tried to not think of the letter. He failed of course. He kept wondering if Harry had already read it, and if so, what he thought of it. If he thought Louis was an idiot, and he was glad he was rid of him. Niall and Liam tried to tell him he shouldn’t worry so much, but why would he listen to his stupid friends anyway? They didn’t know anything. He loved them, but they were idiots. That’s why they made such a great team.

Louis was home alone on Friday night, and he was bored. So bored. He should’ve accepted the offer to go out for drinks with his friends, but he didn’t. So now he was staring blankly at the tv. He didn’t even know what was playing, but he already didn’t like it. 

Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. He looked at his watch. 9.43 pm. Who the hell would come by his apartment now? He slowly walked to the door, a little wary about the potential visitor. Louis opened the door, and he did not expect to see the person who was currently standing in the hallway.

“Harry.” Louis exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. 

Harry looked amazing, of course he did. He was dressed in some wide trousers and a white tee. But he made it look good, just like always. Seeing Harry, there, standing in front of him, gave a shock to Louis’ system. He almost didn’t believe it was real. 

“Hey Lou.” Harry gave him a very timid smile. “Can I come in?” 

Louis almost didn’t believe his own ears. He was so shocked, he almost forgot to reply. “Yeah, of course, come in.”

Harry walked inside and towards the sofa like he never left. He plopped down on the sofa, while making himself seem smaller. Huh, looks like he was nervous after all. Louis also took a seat on the sofa, but he put a safe distance between them. 

“So, hi.” Harry smiled.

“Hi your-“ “I’ve read your letter.” Harry blurted. “Sorry, I just, I needed you to know.” He blushed.

“Thank you for telling me that. Anything you wanna talk about?” Louis laughed a little nervously.

“Yes. So much. Everything. But first: did you mean what you wrote? Like, all of it?”

“Yeah H, I meant every single word.” 

“Then let me start by saying that you’re a huge idiot.”

“What?!” Louis almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“A dumb idiot. Why would you think I’d leave you for someone else, while you were the only one I’ve had eyes for these last six years?” 

“H…”

“No, I’m serious Lou. You are the most gorgeous, loving, kind person I have ever met, and I’d never pick anyone over you. Like, Chris Hemsworth could walk through that door right now, ask me to take him to bed, and I’d say ‘no thanks’, because no one could compare to you, Lou.”

Louis blushed, and laughed. “H, I get the point you’re trying to make, but come on? You wouldn’t go for Chris Hemsworth? Liar.”

That made Harry laugh, and Louis suddenly remembered how it felt to make Harry laugh. It felt like the best thing in the world. 

“Okay, maybe Chris Hemsworth wasn’t the best example, but I’m hoping you get my point.”

“I do, thank you.”

“I also listened to your voicemail.” 

Shit, Louis honestly forgot about that whole thing. “Look, H, I was drunk. I probably didn’t even mean what I said, so you can forget about that.”

Harry laughed. “Lou, it’s fine. You didn’t say a whole lot, to be honest. You were just mumbling about how you wanted to talk to me, or something. I debated calling you back, but seeing as you called around 4 am and you sounded quite intoxicated, I didn’t know if you were serious, and I didn’t want to make it weird.”

Louis exhaled at that. “You wouldn’t have made it weird.”

That made Harry smile. “Good to know.” Immediately after he said that, Harry suddenly looked at him with a very nervous look on his face. “Did you mean the last thing you wrote? In your letter?”

Louis honestly couldn’t remember what the last thing he wrote was. “I’m gonna need a little help here. What did I write there?”

Harry fished the letter out of his pocket, and started reading from it. _“I just want you to know that there’ll always be a part of me that loves you, and if there’s any part of you that still loves me, maybe we could try again? Small steps of course. If you even want me. If you don’t, that’s also completely fine, and I’m sorry for bothering you with this. Let me know if you ever feel ready. That, did you mean that?”_ He suddenly looked very hopeful.

Louis couldn’t help but turn shy at hearing his own words. “Yeah H, I did. But it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. We can try being friends, maybe not right this second, but a little later. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ll get over i-“

Louis couldn’t finish his sentence, because he suddenly felt a pair of very soft lips on his. He couldn’t remember the last time he was kissed like this. Well, he could actually, it was the last time he and Harry kissed. No one knew him like Harry. Sadly, the kiss ended before Louis really had any time to get into it.

“I’m sorry, was that too straightforward?” Harry blushed.

Louis was pretty sure he was rocking a similar shade of pink. “No, it wasn’t. But, are you sure? Have you thought about this?”

“Lou, I haven’t stopped thinking about this since I read your letter on Saturday. You’re everything I want, always.”

Louis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You actually want to try again? Like, you’re not shitting me right now, are you? Because if you are I’ll punch you so hard-“ “Lou, I promise I’m being serious. I’ve missed you so much. Yeah, our relationship wasn’t perfect, and we had some issues, but which couple hasn’t? We were happy, weren’t we?” 

Louis couldn’t help but nod fervently.

“We’re the dream team Lou. I’d love to try again, with you. So, without further ado: Louis Tomlinson, will you go on a date with me this Friday?”

“Well Harry Styles, I’d love to. Care to tell me where you’re planning on taking me?” 

“Nope! I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” Harry exclaimed smugly.

“Guess I have to show up now.” Louis joked.

“Oi, were you planning on standing me up? Because I will not accept that.” For a second Harry actually had a very serious look on his face, but he quickly bursted into laughter. His laugh was so infectious that Louis had no choice but to join in.

After regaining their breath, Louis got a little serious again. “No, but I’m actually really looking forward to this date. Maybe a chance to start fresh, start and stay happy?”

“Me too Lou, me too.” 

“Do you want to stay and chat for a little bit? Watch a movie?” 

Harry smiled. “A movie sounds lovely, if you’re okay with it?”

“Sure, you go ahead and pick one.”

-

Two hours later Louis was shaken awake by Harry. When he opened his eyes, he realised his face was insanely close to Harry’s. Now that he thought about  
it, it wasn’t just his face actually. So, turns out they cuddled a lot while watching the movie, and then Louis fell asleep. Great.

“Shit, H, I’m so sorry for falling asleep on you.”

“Don’t worry Lou, it was fine. You looked cute. Almost too cute to wake up, but I really have to get home and I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.” Harry smiled.

“What time is it?”

“12.24 am.” 

Louis winced. No wonder he fell asleep.

“Ok, yeah, that makes sense. I’ll walk you to the door.”

They very slowly made their way to Louis’ flatdoor. It was very obvious they were both prolonging Harry’s departure, but no one wanted to mention it.

“So, I guess I’ll see you next Friday?” 

“Yeah, you will. I’ll pick you up at eight?” Harry smiled.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Louis hadn’t even really noticed, but suddenly their faces were very close together. Louis’ hands went out to cup Harry’s face, and he closely brought their faces even closer. He would swear he could see a twinkle in Harry’s eyes, but before he was able to get a second look, they had both closed their eyes and he felt his lips on Harry’s. The kiss was short, but intense. He was honestly surprised it still went this well after six months of going without, but maybe that was one of their strengths. 

When they broke the kiss, Harry looked at Louis and smiled. “So, sleep well and I’ll see you on Friday.”

He already walked away, but before Louis had a chance to close the door, Harry had turned around and looked straight at Louis.

“Hey Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“By the way, I didn’t forget those records, I left them here on purpose.”

**Author's Note:**

> also i mostly published this to hopefully kick my butt into gear and write the rest  
> so if you liked it and want to bully me into writing the other ones you can do so [here](https://loveonwallstour.tumblr.com)  
> and [this](https://loveonwallstour.tumblr.com/post/629351640962596864/old-soul-sunflowergolden-me-33k-post-break) is the tumblr post if u wanna rb!


End file.
